draethdarkstar:

Depression is a weird disease. When I was a teenager, I had so much energy all the time, but I also thought about suicide every day from like, early childhood until my late teens. I never attempted, but there were a number of times I wanted to and thought long and hard about it.

At 28 I almost never have those thoughts anymore, and when I do I can recognize them as suicide ideation symptoms and not as something I have any desire to do, but now I have so little energy I can barely ever make myself do things that I genuinely enjoy doing if I have had to do anything even a little bit mentally taxing in the same day.

I’m in so much better shape emotionally at this point in my life than I ever have been before, but I miss my executive function. I wish I had a clue what to do about it.